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From "The
Baltimore Daily Star", Thursday, August 28, 2003; Evening Edition By Clifford Brown
The Bard once said, "A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet." This may be true in the case of most gaudily colored weeds that have come to symbolize love in a godless and decadent capitalist society, but such a pat aphorism cannot apply to the man known as Sir Alvin Delgado Pinatubo Starshine Ecarma. With his past shrouded in rumor and innuendo and his ties to an Albanian pornography syndicate still unverified, it is clear that Sir Alvin is a man of many contradictions that only heightens his complexities and enriches the mystery behind the name. There has yet to be an ancient tome or published thesaurus or other really big book of synonyms that could possible describe his many traits: brave, fearful; masculine, effete; tough, silky; gas-permeable, color-fast; and yes, perhaps even hypoglycemic. The youngest of three and self-described as "hard-working," "responsible", and "not afraid to kiss a man," his interests run the gamut from tutoring under-privileged children in the Inner City to the ancient oriental art of origami, and even to brushing up on his bassoon lessons. Far in number, his talents know no bounds except for the ones placed by his complete lack of skill and ability which happens to apply to most of the previously mentioned pursuits. In the final equation, Sir Alvin is a dangerously unhinged individual. Wrapped in a misasma of insanity, he is a white-hot cauldron of psychosexual tension that could violently boil over at any moment. This either makes him a future patient of any number of psychiatric institutions or a prospective candidate for high political office. But whatever his plans, rest assured that he will accomplish them with the same utter lack of grace or restraint that mark his other manly triumphs. Godspeed, Sir Alvin, Godspeed. -30- |
(c) 2010 Divergent Thinking Productions
(c) 2010 Divergent Thinking Productions