And who am I (I being Klinton Spilsbury)? I'm just one of many subcontractors that Director/Producer Alvin Ecarma has hired out in order to complete the film in a timely manner. Whether it be Updates, Web Mastering or even his own bowel movements, Alvin has subcontracted, outsourced or opened a South American sweat shop to bring LETHAL FORCE on time and on schedule. And if a toddler falls into a textile machine or an infant is crushed in Alvin's hideously abnormal, acid-secreting colon, they're just going to have to suck it up, dammit. Anyway, here are this month's announcements:

Webmastering duties have been passed on to Maestro Don "Shabba-Doo" Espanol. Look forward to an all hopped and crazy updating of the website. And speaking of the website, we'd like give Jenna "Grand Master Flash" Kemberlin belated props for the site's snappy new look. You can visit her website at www.hollygolightly.net ...

Actress Pat Williams is helping out with the casting of the new locally produced indie film "Professor Zoom and His Amazing Dog Cannon, " a grim, cautionary tale of a deluded scientist and his warped plans to create a 500mm Howitzer that shoots only Dalmatians and medium-sized golden retrievers...

Action Man Eric Thornett had the invitation-only, black-tie, world premiere gala for his new film 23 HOURS this past Saturday, July 8. Held at the futuristic headquarters of Roku.com, celebrities spotted included Conrad Brooks, Butch Patrick and that black guy from "Taxi"...

Low on funds and even lower on plasma, Director Alvin Ecarma will be reluctantly returning to the lucrative-but-soul-crushing world of an Office Monkey. Alvin opens the floor to any alternatives anyone may have; explains Alvin "I want a job that will allow me to maintain some measure of dignity and self respect, so I'm looking for an occupation like 'Smut Peddler,' 'Dope Fiend', or 'Sexual Deviant.'...

The first cut of LETHAL FORCE has been reached and is now going through an extensive battery of tweaking and fine tuning. Editor Ronald Hunkler declares that the movie has progressed from "homage", to "campy homage", to "camp", and finally to "balls-out stupid." Says Ronald, "It makes the old Adam West/BATMAN show look like a harrowing psychological thriller."

Due to an abbreviated running time, new scenes are to be added featuring a chase/capture scene of Jack (Frank Prather) at the start of the film and an extended, "gay" flashback between Savitch and Jack featuring frolicking through fields, deep tissue massage and underwear wrestling...

Speaking of actor Frank Prather, our beloved lead has gotten a starring role in the West Hollywood production of "Village People Forever" as "The Indian"; Frank's stand-out moment is his heart breaking soliloquy "I Will Pelvic Thrust, No More, Forever" ...